Health and
Beauty do not necessarily go together. I have seen very many ugly people who
seem to be in great health, for some reason. For years I felt like crap. I went
to the doctors, who ran test after test, most of which required gallons of my
blood each and every time or else entailed lying perfectly still while they
slid me into a plastic tube that was just bigger than my body. I then must lie
there WITHOUT moving AT ALL while the machine hums, thumps and sounds like a 57
chevy that is about to throw a connecting rod. They do give me a little rubber
thingy to squeeze if I start having a problem with anxiety, but that is little
solace, since I looked once and it doesn’t seem to be attached to anything. I
think they film it and share it with other medical technicians at their annual
conferences… laughing at all the people who are desperately squeezing the
little rubber bulb as their blood pressure climbs and they go into respiratory
failure. That is why they do these tests at the hospital, even though the
equipment is in a semi trailer… so that they can then rush these people into
the emergency room and collect from the insurance company.
Needless to say,
after all these tests, the doctors all agreed that I was suffering from stress
and was actually very healthy. I then decided that I would give my life insurance money to the
local auto repair facility, since they can actually tell me when something is
wrong with my car, unlike the doctors. I always imagine donating my body to science
and having some college class dissect me, with some freshman saying “Whoa… no
wonder this guy died, look at this! On the other hand, look at his hand
muscles, they sure are developed… probably from squeezing this rubber bulb!”
Beauty… is a social
statement put forth through commercialism in an attempt to sell you products.
Too short, too fat, too skinny, wrong hair color, bad diet, pale skin… you can
buy stuff to take care of all of these things. Too bad that you pay too much attention to what other people say as to
what you should weigh or look like. Beauty is for shallow people. Sure, I have
been guilty of it myself. The worst thing someone could say about someone that
they were trying to set me up with was “They have a great personality.” To me,
that meant that they were so ugly that their mom fed them with a slingshot from
ten feet away. Yeah, that is bad, and I know it. We learn all sorts of things
as we get older and wiser.
