Well,
what can I say other than the obvious fact that if we didn’t have these, there
would be a lot of ugly people running around naked… so in my opinion, clothing,
shoes and accessories are basically a good thing.
I am not a
dresser-upper. That is a fact. I will wear a t-shirt till someone makes me
throw it away or it finally self-destructs. Now before you think that I am a
slob, I am talking about in the home environment. I know that T-shirts have no
place at weddings… or funerals… that is why I never attend either of those.
Actually, I am baffled at both of these, to some point. Weddings I can kind of
relate to. I mean, of course you want all of your friends and society as well to
know that you have decided to join in the bonds of holy matrimony with someone
who will annoy you for the rest of your days or until such time as you spend
thousands of dollars on a divorce, give her all your stuff, then start over,
emotionally scarred and beaten down to a mere shadow of your former self. No, I
am NOT a cynic, why would you ask that?
Funerals… are a
very creepy sort of thing for me. Obviously they are not for the poor slob in
the casket, they could care less about the suit or dress and which casket you
picked out for them. They just had their internal organ ripped out with a coat
hanger through a small slit here and there and if they are a guy, had to lay
there while somebody slathered makeup all over their face! No thank you. When I
die, get rid of my body as cheap as you can. I’m not using it anymore, so why
bother pampering it and dressing it up and all, really? Slap my ass in a pine
box and burn it up, bury the ashes somewhere in the woods and plant a tree in
the hole as well. That is a fitting tribute to someone… a majestic oak or pine
reaching for the sky and providing the world with life-giving oxygen till some
lumberjack hits you with a chainsaw and ships you off to make a 2 by 4 out of…
sucks, sure, but still beats the hell out of lying in an overpriced coffin in
an overpriced burial plot in some cemetery with high school kids pissin on your
head… at least that is my opinion.
Clothes are
overrated. Period. What does it matter if you don’t have the latest trend or
craze? Does it make you better or worse? Nah, all it might do is get your ass
killed for them new shoes you got on… ever hear anyone get shot and their
Walmart sneakers ripped off? Didn’t think so.
Shoes are
something else, too. Women? Why in the world do you wear them super-high heels
shoes with the little bitty heels that look like they will snap in two any
second? You always look like you are walking downhill… in pain… tell me I am
wrong. I can kinda understand wanting to be taller. The studies say that taller
people earn more money and get more respect from coworkers. Ever wonder about
who does those studies? Well, I will let you in on a well-kept secret. Tall
people do those surveys. Uh huh. Then they take them in to the boss and show
him or her… and ask for more money. Or respect. And you know what? They get it.
Why? Because the studies show… you get it, huh?
As a male, I
don’t want a woman to be as tall as me. Why? Because women that are as tall as
I am weird me out. Sexist? Probably… I still hold to the ideal that even if a
woman is walking through life next to me, I am still supposed to look out for
her and protect her. Why? I cant tell you, perhaps some throwback to medieval
time when the man was supposed to be chivalrous and protect the ‘weaker sex’..
or was that the 1950’s? That is the way I am and I see no need to apologize, if
it bothers you then stay away from me. No, it isn’t about ‘control’ of a woman,
I long ago realized that I have nothing to say about that. Women simply don’t
listen to me, which is probably a good thing, for some things anyway. Anyway,
back on the shoe thing…
Woman, if you
want to feel ‘equal’ to a man in your life, dump the shoes and spend the money
on Tae Kwon Do and then just kick the crap out of him… he will get the message.
